Obsessed

We just stare at this little guy all day every day!

And we love it!

6 days late...but worth the wait!

We just got home from the hospital and everything is so fresh on my mind I wanted to write about it as soon as possible. I always LOVE reading other peoples stories about their delivery day and what happened to them and always thought, well... What will mine be?

So here is "our pregnancy" story...(beware very lengthy)

So my due date was december 11th. I was dilated to a 4 for about 2 weeks and nothing. My doctor was in the hospital on the 11th and i was told at a previous appointment that if nothing happens before then, come in to get everything checked out and see if we can push this along. So the 11th came and we went to the hospital with all our bags (just in case). We went in I was still the same as the week before. She stripped my membranes and told me to go and I thought for sure that I would be back later that night to have the baby because I was so far along. As we were leaving she said, "go eat a good dinner and I will see you back here in a couple hours." So Pehrson and I left feeling hopeful and super excited about the way the doctor felt. We decided to stay close by the hospital in case something happened. We went to the Americana and did lots of walking and ate a big meal at the cheesecake factory. My contractions were getting worse, which made me happy, but they weren't consistant. I would get a really bad one and then like 10 mild ones. So i called my doctor and she said that I would know the difference and to just go home and get some rest. So we sadly drove home with an empty car seat.

December 12th...nothing...December 13th...I had a regular doctors appointment, got my membranes stripped again (still at a 4 and 90% effaced) while we were there we scheduled an induction appointment for thursday the 16th @ 9 am but that was just a "back up plan" because I was so far along...December 14th...nothing...December 15th...nothing.

December 16th rolls around slowly and at 9 am we go to the hospital very excited because we knew we would be admitted cause we had an appointment!

We get there and they say..."there in no room" (i felt just like Mary) right when they said that I literally broke down, I was so bummed that AGAIN we were getting sent away. They did a quick check just to see if I had made any progress and I did. I was at a 5 and having mild contractions every 5 minutes. The baby was still healthy and had lots of fluids so they weren't to worried, but they did tell my he was getting BIG! And they said to go home...(here is where the tears really started flowing! I wanted my baby!!!!) but they said they would call me if there was an open room later that night. So we got back into the car and drove home with an empty car seat. More and more tears. We decided we needed to go do something so that this wouldn't ruin our day. SO where else to go but the beach...we went to the beach and it was a beautiful sunny day. Pehrson got his wiggles out and surfed while I read and then we both went for a walk. Then my phone rang...it was the hospital and they said there was an opening and they wanted me to come in around 5-6. Woohoo! I wanted to get excited but didn't get too excited because who knew what was going to happen and they probably could have sent me away...Again.

So we go get some dinner and because of traffic get to the hospital around 6 o'clock. I get checked out and I am now dilated to a 6! I get admitted.

The doctor told me she was gonna hold off on the ptosin and just see what my body would do since it was making so much progress on its own. I asked her if she could break my water to give my body a little kick start. She didn't feel completely comfortable because the babies head wasn't lodged in there deep enough and there can be problems with the cord dropping down before the baby's head and you would have to be taken straight to the emergency room. So P and I start making the loops around the hospital, squating, speed walking...etc. so the baby's head would get lower in the canal. I also stood in a hot shower.

Around 11 o'clock (so 5 hours later) the doctor comes in and gives me the great news that he is lower. SO she broke my water...P said it looked like a waterfall. It was the strangest feeling but kind of like a warm bath. Once they left the contractions started kicking in...the "real contractions that seriously take your breath away" they were getting more and more intense and closer together. I did lots of deep breathing and kept telling myself..."just take it one at a time" they came and the went...about every 3-5 minutes. And once I was dilated to an 8 they started coming every 2 minutes. I really didn't think I could get through some of them. I would stand up or just breath really deeply or get down on all fours and just try to breath through it. Around 4:30 am I was at a 9 1/2 and feeling the pain more than ever!

Finally at 5:00 am the nurse said I was at a 10!! and that i needed to start pushing. For some reason the pushing actually felt really good. (well...still painful but better than the contractions) I pushed with the nurse for about 40 minutes and then the doctor came in. They were rubbing oils and trying to get me more stretched out because I had a muscle down there that wouldn't relax and baby was crowning. The doctor said she was going to have to open me up a little to make room for the baby to come out. I said go for it. Just get this guy out of me. After she cut me...I was that much closer. The nurses and Pehrson and the doctor kept saying he is right there...push...push...push. I thought my head was gonna explode because I was pushing so hard and with every ounce of my strength.

At 6:01 am MY baby's head broke through and my doctor said look down, look down..."grab your baby!!" So I lean over and grab him under his arms and finish pulling him out and laid him right on my belly. I was SO overwhelmed with joy and love at that moment. I was crying and laughing and just staring at this little guy. I couldn't believe he came out of me. Pehrson and I created this beautiful perfect little angel and he just entered the world.

The doctor was sewing me up and doing a bunch of other things down there which probably should've been really painful but it's like I didn't even notice because I had this human being...my human being...laying on my belly and the one that helped me bring him here on my side. Nothing could have been more perfect. Our bodies are AMAZING!

My doctor told me I lost a lot of blood and to be very careful when I get up and move around. I laid there for a while.

My wonderful family came around 7:00 am.

And then around 8:00 am they moved to another room where we would stay for the day and night. I got up to sit in a wheel chair so hot and sweaty and dizzy from the loss of blood that I sat there for a second and totally fainted. Perhson said my head was bobbing and then he caught it. They waved ammonia under my nose and I woke back up. We walked over to another room and I feel right asleep. My body was exhausted. I slept for a couple hours and woke up again to this beautiful little baby.

He came in at an exciting number of 8 lbs. 8.7 ounces and 20.5 inches long. Very healthy baby. We couldn't be happier the way things worked out and still can't believe we are parents.

This is the life! We love you Beck Allen Hawkley!

the room...

Well it's december 13th...baby was supposed to come december 11th. I have been dilated to a 4 and 90% effaced and having contractions on and off for more than a week now. He is just taking his sweet time. Which is totally fine. I want him to be ready and hopefully for making me wait so long he will bless his mom with an easy delivery. =]

Even though we are SUPER anxious to meet him and hold him we have been having a lot of fun just P and I. He finished his finals and I finished working last week. So we have been able to just hang out and get things done. We go on LOTS of walks! (Pehrson said to me the other day he hasn't done this much walking since his mission ha) The other day I went to USC during his last final and walked about 5 miles and went up and down the stadium steps (my legs were on fire for the next couple days) We have been going christmas shopping, went to the movies and getting this little guys room done. We still have a couple things we want to do but here are some pics for now...

Hopefully this week we will be able to post some pictures of our little guy. And stop anticipating his arrival. We have tried all the tricks...(except for the castor oil, don't think i can do that one) deep down I think the baby comes when he comes and all those tricks are wives tales. But if you have one that you really think works let me know!

Hope everyone is getting into the holiday spirit...don't you just love this time of year!

Some of you may be totally grossed out by this picture if you have a foot phobia, like me, (i'm making progress) So sorry...But, I just had to document this for myself. See that lovely toe ring on my foot. Well, I got that toe ring at the Sawdust Festival in Laguna Beach when I was in 6th grade. Put it on my toe that day and haven't taken it off since. Half my life I have had this toe ring on. It has become a part of me. I have played millions of soccer games with it, it's been in many different shoes, ran many miles, gone swimming, surfing, biking, snowboarding...every where I went this ring went too. When i hear people talk about toe rings (not that its very often or anything) but I think..."man who wears those anymore, those are so old" and then I remember I have one and have for years. So I told myself and Pehrson that when I get pregnant I will take it off cause I don't want to get swollen and have that ring cut off my circulation. Well I got pregnant and just kept forgetting to take it off. I would remind myself during the day but when I got home at night I would forget again. So 40 weeks later I actually did it. I took it off (mostly because who knows what could happen in the delivery room, I might swell up like a balloon. Hopefully not but you never know) Fortunately I haven't gotten too swollen during pregnancy. (i think the yoga and water aerobics have helped) but I just think it is time to take the ring off. Change is good!

Good-bye toe ring...you have been so good to me through the years. Never once did you annoy me. I'll put you in a special place just in case I have the urge to bring you out again. But it probably won't be for a while.

Is it time yet?

He is SO close but still SO far...

Things I will miss about being pregnant:

• Feeling this little guy move around like crazy
• When he gets hiccups at night
• When I haven't felt him for a little bit cause I'm busy doing something and then I sit down and feel him move, it's like a breath of fresh air.
• Having a human grow inside me. I still can't believe our bodies are designed to do this.
• The looks people give me. (some bad...but MOST good)
• The random conversations I will have with people every single day.
• The natural notion people have to come up and touch my belly
• Waiting in line at a public restroom and the ladies in front of my let me go ahead of them. (they must know the feeling)
• Using my belly as a table. Or a place to set my phone when I'm on speaker. HA
• Going to the doctors and seeing him move around on the little screen.

Things I will not miss about being pregnant:

• Waking up a couple times a night to go to the bathroom
• Sleeping on my "left" side with tons of pillows shoved between my legs
• Getting charlie horses all over
• Opening a door or getting up from a table without hitting my belly on something
• Doing the awkward bend over to pick something up.
• Moving slowing in and out of the car.
• Just walking...I can't wait to go running again!!!
• Not being able to see my feet.
• Stretchy pants...even though maternity pants have been a lifesaver (if you are pregnant and holding out just because you don't want to buy them i would highly suggest changing your mind...they are amazing!) BUT...I'm really excited to zip or button something up again. I feel like I wear the same things every day.
• Unfortunately I did get some stretch marks, not horrible but they itch and I am excited to not have that feeling anymore.
• And I wonder if my belly button will go back to normal?
• Giving Pehrson a front hug without bending over a little.

That's all I can think of right now...i'm sure there are a million more for each one. But these are the ones on the top of my list. We are just days away. Woohoo! I know i keep saying that in every post but it's true this time. We are almost there. Baby Hawkley is just saying his last good-byes up there. We love you so much little guy. We can't wait to hold you! Now come already. (Preferably thursday afternoon after your daddy's finals are over)