I wake up in the morning and after going straight to the bathroom i stop and think about how crazy it is that i am growing a human inside of me...yes a human with arms and legs and ears and eyes. What a miracle to watch this happen. Is this really happening??
I have been going to a pre-natal yoga class lately and it feels amazing. I feel like i'm in pretty good shape until i go to this class and realize how tight i really am. But, it's funny to look around the room and see all these other woman in awkward positions with big bellies. I wonder what they are thinking. What their life is like, what type of "pregnant women" they are. On my way home i was trying to think about what type i am. I would have to say that Pehrson has it pretty easy. I'm still pretty nice and I still haven't really had any cravings. I get hungry...but no cravings.
Here's an embarrassing story that felt totally logical at the time but now i feel horrible. The other day I was at the mall and I was SO hungry. Everything in sight looked good. I went to the food court and i swear every line was a mile long (maybe i'm exaggerating a little) I started waiting in the subway line cause it was the shortest and after about 15 minutes of waiting the sweet girl yells back to all of us in line that their atm wasn't working and that they would only accept cash. I looked at her and said "what??? are you serious??? well...can i write you a check??? big groans and moans...she said, "no sorry, but you can use the atm over there" i looked at her and said "NO i'm going somewhere else" I made a big scene and stormed off. You would have that the world was ending. I was so mad! and STILL SO hungry...i finally got food at some other ridiculously expensive sandwich place. But i was full and happy. I didn't even think twice about what i had done until i was driving home. I laughed out loud and then felt really bad. So subway lady if you're out there..."i'm sorry!"
And maybe my emotions have been a little more dramatic lately and i'll start crying over silly things like, baby clothes, baby shoes, seeing Pehrson hold the baby clothes or baby shoes, looking at an empty room knowing that in a couple months OUR baby will be in there. Any baby in general. I was making a salad and cut my finger really bad and i started crying...hard! turns out i didn't cut it that hard but you would thought i chopped my whole finger off and my favorite one of all was in the the beginning of pregnancy I got some dirt on my pants and I started crying because now i had to walk around with dirty pants. (that one is just stupid)
I've had a couple of those "i'm fat" days but then when i feel this little guy move or kick or dance or roll i know that everything is totally worth it! Nothing makes me happier than feeling him move around inside. I would have to say that his most active time is at night when i'm trying to go to bed, he is just getting the party started. I'll lay there and just feel him for a couple hours. i guess they say that if he is active at night on the inside he will be active at night on the outside too. SO maybe he is just preparing me for those late, long nights ahead.
But we are getting closer! each week goes by so quick and i am now seeing my doctor every two weeks. The time is going to fly. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to be carrying this child of God. I love his little spirit so much already and can't wait to hold him and kiss him and love him forever. I hope that we can be the best parents we can be and that he will feel safe with us in these wicked times. I'm so glad that Heavenly Father constructed our lives to be centered around families. I don't know what i would do with out mine and I am SO excited to be making one of my own. I truly feel so blessed every day.
Thank you for this wonderful gift of Life.
