Ace August Hawkley 8.8.16

My body created another human and I was lucky enough to bring another healthy baby into the world and to experience the pain and beauty that happens while having a baby.

                  

Here is Ace's birth story....

August 5th was the anticipated day for Ace to come. But with my past history I should've known better. The day came and went and there was still no baby. I did a lot of walking and moving around to try and start this labor. After two days of contracting pretty regularly it started to get more intense on Sunday night. My contractions were about 2 minutes apart and we decided it was time to pack up the car and head to the hospital. My parents came over to watch the kids. We got to the hospital and again my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. I was dilated to a 4 and was addmitted aroud 1:00 am. They gave me a tiny bit of pitocin to keep my contractions close together. Around 7:00 am my doctor came in and said that I was a 7 maybe 8 but that he wanted me to wait until he was done with another surgery to brake my water cause he knew that once he broke my water it would be quick. That was the hardest part for me. I was just waiting for my doctor to finish. I was pretty comfortable still. Contracting every 3 minutes for about 2 hours. He came back, broke my water. Then the party really started! I was in full labor. Lots of water coming out of me and lots of pain. I sit on a ball through the contractions, I stood up, I bent over....the pain was getting really intense. I decided to go without the epidural again because I knew my body could handle it. But at this point in labor I am always rethinking my decision. I am a quiet laborer, I have to remind myself to just breathe through each contraction and to focus on something else (usually its the prize at the end and seeing that sweet new baby). About an hour after he broke my water I knew the baby was near. I got on the bed and said that I needed to push cause he was coming. The doctor asked Pehrson if he wanted to deliver the baby. Of course he did! So he put on some gloves and in one contraction I started to push. I pushed two times and out he came. The moment that we had been waiting for for the last 10 months. My prize! A beautiful healthy little guy came out and Pehrson placed him right on my belly. The tears came streaming down my face and I literally could not have been more excited and relieved at the same time. I did it! I had accomplished a goal that I made for myself and had all of my babies naturally. I have never been more grateful for a healthy body and for 4 beautiful children that I get to hang out with everyday. 

This delivery was probably my easiest one. I wasn't in very much pain until the end and my body had remembered what to do. I am so grateful for my body and for the beautiful things that it can create.

Once again it was love at first sight.....

  

Hawaii

We went to Hawaii in October (2015). We decided to try out the military airlines to see if we could fly over there for free. We drove up to Sacramento for a couple days with the Hawkleys, visited the beautiful Lake Tahoe and then we luckily made it on a flight to Hawaii. For our whole family for free. We were so thrilled and so excited to spend some time together and with our friends. While we were flying over there Pehrson was starting to get really swollen and itchy. Every time I looked back at him he was more swollen and his eyes were geting smaller and smaller. When we landed in Hawaii we got to a hotel room and Pehrson went straight the ER. Poor guy had an allergic reaction (we think) to some poison oak that was airborn up in Lake Tahoe and so they gave him some steriods to help it feel better.  He was the most comfortable when he was in the ocean or in some AC. His reaction was getting better but it still wasn't 100%.

But we still had a great time. Went on a fun hike, played at the beach, surfed waikiki, ate at some of our favorite spots, played with our friends, enjoyed some time with each other and told our kids all about this special island that brought Pehrson and I together.

Pehrson had another reaction on our flight back to Sacramento and had to go to the Hospital again. I had a very strange moment while this happened. 

So we had been traveling all day long....our kids luckily did awesome, but still we were all worn out. We finally got off the plane, got our luggage and I dropped Pehrson off at the hospital on base. Then because of the time change it was dinner time for us. I was trying to stall the time so Pehrson could get more medicine and I could pick him back up without putting the kids to bed and then waking them up to go get him. By the time we were done eating (its about 10:30 at night) the doctors still hadn't even seen Pehrson. I went to the hotel. Got a room then went back to my car and started unloading all my bags. My kids were so tired. I was tired. I was on the phone with my mom, worried about our situation, worried about Pehrson! I might have cried a little bit and then this lady came over to me. She was very odd. She didn't have any respect for personal space, she talked a little funny. She came up and asked me if I was Mormon, i said yes and then she flashed me her garments and said that she was too. She asked me how she could help me and honestly I needed help. I needed to park my car and bring all my luggage and kids upstairs to our room. I would have never left my kids with anyone but I needed help and I said about 500 prayers in my head. I walked her into the lobby with my luggage and Beck & Jade. I made eye contact with the people working there and they kind of realized the situation. I ran back to my car with Val, drove so fast to get a parking spot that was of course SO far away and then sprinted back to the hotel with Val delighted to see my two sweet kids sitting there telling her their favorite colors. My heart was racing. I thanked her and just wanted to get into our room. But I didn't want her to know which room was ours, so I kindly gave her the hint that I was grateful for her help and that we are good from here. She walked me to the elevator and started walking away when Jade fell and started crying and then Val hit the bright red alarm button in the elevator that they put at perfect eye level for kids. Remember we are at a military hotel, so they have to follow protocol. It calls the security and I tell the man that all is well my son just accidently hit the wrong button. He is freaking out..."remain calm, don't move, we are sending someone over right away...i repeat do not move!' "Sir...Sir........we are fine." A few minutes later, I think every one of my kids has had a meltdown at some point, the man comes sweating cause he was running over to make sure that all was ok. The Lady finally left us once he came and he carried my bags to my room. I have never felt so happy to be in a hotel room with a closed door behind me. I needed a pack n play for Val so I called down to the front desk and asked if they had one, she said, "Oh yeah, we have one, why don't you come down and grab it..." I said...I'm the one with the three kids who probably shouldn't go back in the elevator right now. She quickly realized who I was and said, "don't worry, I am on my way!" THANK YOU! Nothing sounded worse than leaving that room again. It is about 12:00 at night. Pehrson called and said that he found a taxi that could bring him to the hotel. Thank Goodness. That meant I could put my sweet babies to bed and not have to wake them up to leave and get daddy. I got off the phone and looked at my kids. I suggested we say a prayer and it was one of the most reverent, spiritual moments I have had with my kids. We were being watched over immensely and I was so exhausted and grateful that that day had come to an end. Pehrson made it back eventually we all slept really well and then woke up the next day and drove back to Huntington Beach. 

It was an adventure I will never forget and will be forever grateful for this sweet family of ours. I can't thank Heavenly Father enough for always watching out for me and sending me guardian angels daily. 

Preschool

These two cuties started preschool September 2015. Beck goes 3 days a week and Jade 2 days a week. Same school. Same teachers. I know I am biased but I just don't think they come much cuter and fun than these two. I am jealous of the teachers that get to hang out with these two cuties all the time. I am so proud of them and the people they are becoming and the choices they are making. I love watching them grow but I also want to freeze time and never let them grow up. 

Soccer mom & a Mini Van

I became a Soccer mom/coach and a Mini Van driver all in the same month. I am like a real mom now. And I love it more than anything. 

Summer

Just a few of my favorite shots from the Summer. It really is the best time!! 

Val's Hand

We went camping as a family to the Beautiful Yosemite on June 5th 2015. It was absolutely gorgeous. Perfect weather. We had our awesome camping van. We met up with Joel and Mary Lou. Things were just great. We were spending some nice quality time together, hiking and just being unplugged from the outside world. Things were great. We even got a permit to go hike half dome (just Pehrson & I) we were going to leave the kids with Grandma & Grandpa. We left at 5:00 am and hiked for about three hours and realized that we wanted to head back because we wanted to spend time with our kids on our family vacation. Half dome can happen another time. We got back to camp around 8 am. There was a little fire in the pit (just coals, not a wood burning fire) I honeslty had no idea it was even going until I noticed Val with a long stick sticking it in the fire. He lifted his stick up and the end was smoking. So I stuck to him like glue and tried to get him to do a different activity. i had him distracted for a little while and he was playing far away from the pit. Then Jade kept begging me to help her get her blanket that was in the van. I started walking towards the van and out of the corner of my eye I saw Val start walking back to the fire. I quickly went back to him and in two seconds he tripped and fell hands first into the fire pit. I grabbed him instantly. He was crying and we took him over the the Yosemite first aid center. They didn't open until 9. So we called 911 and a guy showed up immediately. They emerged his sweet little hand in a bucket of ice. He was screaming bloody murder in my hands while I watched my poor baby (14 month old) suffer. It was all i could do but just cry with him. I thought for sure they would just wrap it up and we would continue on our camping trip. But they had other news. We had to drive down to the Fresno burn center immediately, which was about 2 hours down a winding mountain road. It was torture. His little hand had swollen up and they admitted me to the hospital for the night so I could keep his hand elevated all night. Pehrson ended up driving back up the mountain and spending time with our other two. (which later told me he had a really fun night with them, I was happy the trip wasn't ruined for them) Meanwhile, Val and I had a hard night! Hardly slept at all. I was still wearing the clothes I had been wearing from our 3 hr hike that morning. I was stinky and a nurse would come in every single hour, while he was asleep, unwrap his hand and redress it. Waking the poor guy up and then I had to get him to fall back asleep each time. He was a trooper and i said A LOT of prayers to get me through the night and through our future months. They transferred us to the UC Irvine Burn Clinic so we could be home. I won't go into detail about our 8 hour drive home, but just imagine heat, throw-up and a slow moving car. Needless to say we were so happy to see our house when we got home.

I had NO idea how serious this injury was, His poor little hand had to be dressed every night for weeks. Then he had to have surgery because there were parts on his hand that were third degree. So on June 17th (11 days after the actual burn) he went into the hospital and they did a skin graft on his diaper line and put the skin on his palm and right under his pinky finger. He went into the doctors weekly and they would cut off the extra skin and clean it up. I will never get over or ever forget how brave and tough and stong this little boy was. I know he was surrounded by guardian angels because he was the best patient. He would hold out his hand and just watch the nurses and doctors do what they needed to do. I on the other hand could barely watch and always ended up in tears. 

Pehrson went to his surgery and the poor guy had no idea what he was about to get into. Look at that happy face. Pehrson said that he was very low energy and didn't really make any movement all day....until his siblings came to visit. He was so happy to see them and they him. It really is the best thing to see the love between these little people in my life. They teach me something daily.

It was THE hardest thing that I have ever had to do as a mom. We are 8 months out from his surgery and we are still having to visit the doctor and he has to wear a fitted glove every day. His index finger started curling, so he can't straighten his finger all the way by himself. So we have to massage it and stretch it out daily. He might have to have another surgery to soften it and help it to stretch it out. As I said before I never realized how much work this would be and it makes me sad to think about it. He has been so so so amazing through this all and I still am just in AWE of his strength, I can't wait to find out what this boy will become when he grows up. Pehrson & I and Beck & Jade can't love this boy enough. He is our hero! There is not a prayer we don't say with out thanking Heavenly Father for helping Val with his hand and letting it feel better. I am grateful it wasn't worse. It could have been both hands or his face, or eyes. It is hard watching your kid be in pain. We love you Valzee!

Los Gaviotas

Pehrson and I went a couples trip down to Mexico. It was so much fun to spend some time together with our friends. We surfed, relaxed and ate lots of tacos. I sure love this man and the time we get to spend together. We make a really good team.