Malibu sand hills

We went camping with the Facers and Kimballs up at Point Mugu. We had a great time hanging out and spending time together. We were heading home and we decided to make a stop at the Malibu sand dunes just on the side of the road off PCH. We had a great time sliding down. We were there for a couple hours playing and then decided we should go and get some drinks at 7eleven. Jill had the girls (Jade and Quincy) and we had the boys (Beck and Jade). We started driving south down that windy beautiful drive down the PCH. We were caravanning together. Facers, Hawkleys and then Kimballs. Pehrson asked me if I had seen Jade get into the Facers van. I didn't actually see her get in and so I decided to call Jill. She didn't answer. But then called me back a few minutes later. I asked her if she had Jade. She thought I said Dane. She replied are you serious?!?! Then slammed on her brakes. We slammed on ours I got out and looked back at Annie and said, do you have Jade? We were about 10 minutes away from the hill. We all turned around and sped back to the hill. Like literally we were driving so fast I don't how none of us got in an accident. My thoughts and fears and worries were going from Angry, to scared, to histerical, to there is no way, she is probably there just talking to some people showing them her cute swimsuit. We finally got to the hill, which felt like an eternity to get there, and there was no one there, no cares, no people, no Jade. My body went into shock and I literally lost it. I got out of the car just scanning the area, searching for my little girl. Jill was just running around back and forth the freeway, looking in the water, telling random people. A lifeguard pulled up at some point. Someone drove the other direction looking for the other people that were on the slopes with us. At one point I was bent over on all fours just screaming/crying. I couldn't believe it. I ran over to some people who were working out and I asked them to look for a little girl. She said wait are we looking for a little girl or little boy? I yelled back GIRL! Then I ran back and it was the first time I ran over to Jill. We both looked right at each other and said, "WHAT IS HAPPENING?" How did we lose Jade? She said, What? I HAVE JADE! I thought we were looking for DANE? I said NO I have DANE! Low and behold Dane and Jade were both safely buckled in their car seats. It was just miss communication. I sobbed when I saw her face and she looked at me like what is the matter mom? I have never been more relieved in my life. It was an out of body experience that I hope I never (Or any other person) ever has to go through. 

We went to a beach and all sort of sat in shock about what had just happened. There were so many things that didn't make sense. Like why wouldn't I just text Jill? We feel like we there was a listen that we needed to learn. The next week after this event was my hardest week with Jade. She was so tough. But I noticed I had so much patience with her because I couldn't imagine my life with out her. She truly is such beautiful little girl with a good heart. I'm so happy it was a positive outcome and not some of the things I was imagining in my head. 

And for the record. My sisters and I since then are really good at communicating when it comes swapping kids and who has who. =]

Wow! It's been 2 years since I've written on this wonderful blog. I want to change that. I want to write things down and remember things better. A lot has happened in the last two years. I feel like I documented every day of Beck's life and poor Val is almost two and I don't have much. 

SO....the good news is that I take a lot of pictures! So we will have plenty of things to look at.

We ended our wonderful year in Florida and moved back to California. Huntington Beach to be exact.  Pehrson was ranked #1 in his residency program and looked real good in his Blues. We then packed up our stuff and sad good bye to some of the nicest people around and drove back across the county. Pehrson drove the moving truck while pulling the Van. And I drove our truck with our newborn and one newly potty trained kid. =] It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, we made lots of stops and the kids watched lots of movies. I constantly had one hand behind me the entire trip, getting them food or a fallen toy or book, or their blanket....honestly my body was sore from being have way turned the entire ride. haha But we made it and it was good to be back.

Val's Blessing Day

Val was given a beautiful blessing by his dad, Pehrson, on Saturday April 27th, 2014 in our home in Destin, Florida. We decided that since all of Pehrson's family would be here we would do the blessing while they were here. It was so great! Very simple, but perfect. I'm sad my family wasn't able to be there but we feel so lucky to have had all the Hawkley's there and that Pehrson could bless his son shoulder to shoulder with his dad and brothers. 

Val we love you and wish that all the wonderful things your father blessed you with in your life will become a reality. You are a special boy who is on the earth at this time for a special reason. We can't wait to see you grow and develop and learn new things. We are your biggest cheerleaders and will be by your side every step of the way. 

We love you so much!

photoshoot

I love pictures....like a lot! And love comparing them to older ones. Val is one month old in these and was the perfect model. He let me move him around however I wanted and just posed for me and let his siblings love all over him. It was a great morning and I just couldn't love these three more than I do, I feel so lucky every day that they are mine forever and I can kiss those cheeks as many times as I want. 

Val's Birthday

Just like you I love to read a good birth story. And this one will not disappoint!

So let's begin....

Val Anders Hawkley
8 lbs 10 oz

Val was due on April 7th. I figured he would be late because my babies like to take their sweet time. The last couple weeks/days of pregnancy are always the hardest for me. I'm always trying to make sure everything is ready, the house is clean and full of food. And I do everything in my power to try and get the baby out. The 7th was a Monday. Baby didn't come. So on Tuesday I woke up, packed up the kids and headed to a friends house. She watched my kids while I went on a 6 mile walk. People would look at me and I would respond, "yeah I was due yesterday!" I was contracting the whole time I was walking and things were really starting to hurt. So I was getting excited! I went back to get my kids. Took them back home and put Jade down for a nap and started cleaning the house and vacuuming out the car. Contractions were still coming. I called Pehrson at work and said...I think it's time. I called the family who was gonna watch our kids and they were available. P got home, dropped off the kids. Picked me up and drove me to the hospital. Contractions were about every 4 minutes at this time. I got in and they measured me at a 5. But the baby wasn't low enough. So they stripped my membranes and told me to go walk around the hospital for an hour and come back. I was so disappointed mostly because I didn't want them to send me home. So I walked and walked some more, ran up & down stairs, did the curb walk, squats...and said lots of prayers! The hour was up and we got back into the elevator to go inside and guess what, "my water broke!" I was so excited! So they admitted me for sure and started getting everything set up. So usually when my water brakes that means it's go time. But you'll find out later in the story that my water breaks 3 different times. It's a slow process. I'm not in major pain but the contractions were getting stronger. They checked me and I was at a 6.5 and I pretty much stayed there for about 10 hours. Also, my baby was sunny side up which was making it harder for him to drop and get in position. Some new nurses took over and checked me and one of them said she felt like there was a fore bag (which means my water really didn't brake completely the first time) about 30 minutes later I stood up and a gush of water came out of me! So they were right my water hadn't broken completely and now that I had another brake we all thought for sure the baby would be here any second. But the contractions started to die down. They were still strong but only happening every 8-10 minutes. Val was not under any stress, his heart beat was perfect and he was in no hurry to get out of me. Since my initial brake in the water it had been about 15 hours. And once your water breaks you are on a time crunch now. They want to get the baby out around 18 hours after it breaks to avoid infection. So since my contractions started to slow down we all decided it was time to put some pitocin in me to help things go a little faster. They started at a 2 mL (I think) and went up to 8 mL. Which isn't very much I guess, they can go up to 20 or higher. But it was enough for my body to respond. I was really nervous about putting pitocin in my body. I have never had it before and I didn't want it to stress out my baby. But since they didn't have to put too much Val was still under no stress. The pitocin kicked in and the last two hours of labor were LABOR! I was contracting about every 1 1/2-2 minutes. Of super intense, can't breathe, nobody talk to me, nobody touch me contractions. Val didn't like it when I sat down, so I stood through every contraction or was bent over on all fours. The pain was getting stronger and I almost started to cry. I looked up at Pehrson and said, "I can't do this anymore!" And he said, "that means it's time to push!" And sure enough he was right I was at a 10 and baby was coming! Seriously the best news. The hardest part was over. Time to push! I love when it's time to push! Feels so good especially since you know your baby is almost in your arms.

So remember how I said my water broke 3 different times. We'll here comes the best part of the story. I get all set up on the table. My nurse asks me if it's okay to have some students come watch. I said sure and in a matter of seconds there were about 16 people in my room watching me. Awesome! Ha so the resident gets all suited up to deliver the baby and the doctor is right next to him. A contraction comes and they all tell me to push. I push with all my might and POP the last of my water popped ALL OVER THE RESIDENT! I sprayed the poor guy with amniotic fluid from head to toe. It looked like I had taken a big cup of water and thrown it all over him. No one could believe it. The room went silent, I looked at him and said,"I am SO sorry!" Then started laughing so hard. Everyone was laughing. Pehrson was in tears, my nurse was uncontrollable. It was seriously histerical and exactly what we needed after being in the hospital for 17 hours. The poor guy stood in awe and asked nicely, "can someone please get me a towel?" Then a few seconds later he says, "can someone please wipe my mouth!" On the bright side all the laughing made my baby drop fast and in about 2-3 more pushes out he came!

He was perfect!

I have never been so relieved! I just stared at him while they stitched me up. The doctor came over and pushed on my stomach and noticed that I had a ton of blood clots come out of me. She said I lost a ton of blood and she needed to go in and scoop out all the blood clots. She said she was gonna give me some medicine that would make me really drowsy and I couldn't nurse my baby for a while. I said no way! I just went through hours of labor with nothing I don't want any drugs in me now! I didn't really understand what she had to do.....but boy was it painful! She stuck her entire hand inside of me and scooped out all the blood clots, three times, then the last time she got a rag and wiped all around my cervix. It only took about 30 seconds but I could not believe how painful that was, makes me sick just thinking about it. Then it was time to recover.  I was a little shaky from all the blood I had lost and super hungry! They put lots of blankets on me and feed me some peanut butter and graham crackers. I was so relieved and so happy to have my baby here.

I moved over to the recovery room and slept the rest of the day and stared at our sweet little baby. Beck & Jade came to the hospital the next day. And as much as I love seeing the baby for the first time after labor. Watching my kids see each other for the first time on earth takes the cake. B&J wanted to hold him and give him fruit snacks and B asked daddy if the boys could all wrestle. Those are the moments I replay in my head over and over again.

It just felt right.

Val proved to me again that every delivery is different.  Every kid is different. And that the challenge of being a mother is learning how to raise each one because of their differences. Val has been such a wonderful baby. He loves to cuddle and hardly ever cries. Is a great eater and just let's Beck & Jade love all over him. We are all smitten and so happy to be holding him in our arms.

Our bodies are  truly amazing! And I feel so lucky and blessed to have another one of God's children to raise and love. There is nothing more important to me then spending my every day with these three beautiful children. It is the best job in the whole wide world!

SoinLove!

Pregnancy round 3

Pregnancy.....oooh pregnancy! Where to begin. I have a love/hate. I love that I am pregnant and that my body can create these beautiful little people. But I hate that its 9 months (more like 10 for me) and I am just SO anxious to meet the baby. 9 months always feels too long. 6 months would be perfect!

But I have to admit this has been the fastest pregnancy of all time. I can't believe I only have 5 weeks to go. I am still feeling pretty good. I have gotten bigger faster this time and so people still can't believe I'm pregnant. I get the most ridiculous comments of all time. I have started lying about my due date to strangers because they look at me like they've never seen a pregnant person before and make comments like, "you look like you're gonna explode!" "and WOW...any second now?" Beck told me I look like a snowman or Mr. Smee. haha And he is determined to name this baby Olaf. And Jade just loves on my belly all day. She is going to miss it the most. She helps me put lotion on it and can't go through the day with out giving my belly a kiss or blowing on it. She is so funny!

And I am just so grateful that I can still be active and keep up with my kids everyday. The end of the day my back and hips feel like they are going to fall apart sometimes and I get crazy night sweats. But I still manage to get up the next day and get all the things done that I need to. The body truly is an amazing creation. Thinking about it just blows my mind.

We can't wait to meet you baby boy! We still don't have a name picked out but you are loved so much already! Beck & Jade talk about you all the time. Beck says you are bestest friends already and he can't wait to show you all his cars and toys. And be prepared cause Jade is going to kiss you all day long. (I will too!) Daddy can't believe we will be a family of 5. He can't wait to cuddle with you either. Next month we will be preparing for your arrival and I can't wait. You move around inside me all day and there is nothing I love more than feeling your active little legs and arms move around like crazy!

We love you SO much little brother. Can't wait to hold, cuddle & smell you! See you next month. Be nice to me on your way out =]

This was seriously one of the best days of my life! (sounds pathetic!) haha But after two failed attempts I was scared to try again. But I was so sick of changing his diapers and I really didn't want three babies in diapers...SO i buckled down and mission accomplished! Beck was finally ready and he was SO proud of himself! Like SOOO proud of himself. He would cheer and scream when he went potty. It was the best and Jade was his #1 cheerleader. She would jump up and down with excitement along with him. (I think its because she got some candy too!) But once he finally decided to do it on his own he did and never looked back. Still to this day he has only had made 1 or 2 accidents. We are all so proud of him.

Jade is showing interest now too and wants to sit on the toilet whenever Beck does. Maybe she will be one of those miracle babies who is potty trained at 20 months....but probably not! HA